Foreword by Jody Huckaby, Executive Director of PFLAG

On Sharing the Foreword by Jody Huckaby.

As I prepare to send this message out, my insides scream out, "Don't toot your own horn!"

"If a good word needs to be said about you, let someone else say it for you." That's my internal conscience.

Stepping out comes with uncertainty and mistakes. Not stepping out means to miss the journey. Jody Huckaby wrote after reading STRAIGHT INTO GAY AMERICA, "Yours is a story that must be told—it’s difficult to express how your manuscript has provided me with a renewed sense of my own purpose, and that of PFLAG."

So, against the screaming insides, I take another step and push forward a bit more with Straight Into Gay America. As good friends keep reminding me, "coming out is a lifelong journey."

To see the foreword: http://www.straightintogayamerica.com/281.html

To receive the STRAIGHT INTO GAY AMERICA NEWSLETTER: http://www.straightintogayamerica.com/index.php?page_id=12

Will Anything Come of It All?

"Hi lars, I admire your courage, energy and zeal. I am afraid, though, that nothing will come out of it all. Keep trucking." (note from an elder friend who has known me since I was in diapers.)

"Your work - the living, the writing, and the way in which you and your family share it - helps my wife and me to keep going each day. We are grateful and just a little bit less lonely because of you and we thank you." (A relationship started from a brief encounter two years ago.)

Will Anything Come of our Work to affect the Big Wide World?
No one knows. This process is all about faith, all about finding one's own right place, even when that place is different.

I've thought about my friend's question for years; "Will anything come of it all?" I spent time writing about this in Straight Into Gay America. Here's an excerpt about how e-coli bacteria helped me grow more settled with my place in the word.

Federal Marriage Amendment

So, the wedding was great, (see last post.) But picture this. In one week the Senate votes whether to make it a Constitutional Amendment to ban gay men or lesbian women to ever enjoy the blessing of marriage.

At this one man - one woman wedding the brother of the bride was a gay person. He and his partner stood for family photos. They've been together for seven years. I wonder what it feels like to know that they can't have the same official ceremony in that catholic church, or anywhere else in that state of Pennsylvania?

The flower girl had two moms. I wonder what the mom's were thinking as their 4-year old daughter so carefully placed flowers in the aisleway of this ornate 1850's church?

Have you read the text of the Federal Marriage Amendment. It's short, just a few sentences that would devastate not only millions of individuals, but the character of our national identity. The langua is posted in my last newsletter, plus links to websites that are carrying on both sides of this debate. Valuable reading, but still, as I write this blog, I experience the sinking feeling of discouragement that we're even having this debate, that there's such intense energy for creating new and permanent inclusions in the land of the free. I wrote in the newsletter about my heroes - the people who get up every day, year after year, pointing in the direction of kindness, care, and compassion. They help me get up in the morning. Hope you've got these people, too.

Blessings,
Lars

Nathan's and Maura's wedding.

I'm off to Philadelphia tonight for the wedding of friends. Nathan's a long-time friend and he hosted me during my tour last summer. Some of you may remember from my tour postings. At the time he and Maura weren't yet engaged, but prospects looked good!

Here's an another preview from Straight Into Gay America, from my visit with Nathan and Maura. WEDDING WISHES!

“Look at us. We’re the insiders,” says Maura. “Here we sit, holding each other’s hands, and you’re filming us and everything’s fine. Everyone celebrates that Nathan and I found each other. It would be a whole different situation if we were two men or two women who fell in love with each other.”

Nathan adds a story from when he was teaching in Shreveport. “The partner of one of my colleagues died of cancer. My colleague was very devoted to his partner. He stayed at the hospital at his partner’s bedside to care for him. But at the same time he provided for his partner, he had to fight a legal battle in the court to get permission to be with him, and to take care of inheritance, and to secure the right to be his primary caregiver. His partner’s parents wouldn’t accept my colleague’s presence. The conflict became a big legal issue, even though these two men had been together for seventeen years.

“God, it’s hard enough to accompany a person through a hospital stay without fighting a court battle at the same time. Heterosexual couples don’t have to worry about this. It’s tragic we add this kind of suffering to people’s lives when they’re going through life and death crises with their loved ones.”
“And then,” Maura adds, “when death does come to a heterosexual couple, the surviving partner is usually surrounded by the love and care and comfort of family. When a same-sex couple’s partner dies, we mostly don’t even acknowledge it. The surviving partner often bears the loss alone. Life in the closet ends with death in isolation.”

We talk until late. I’m hoping Maura and Nathan are the forerunners of our society a generation from now, a land where this kind of inclusivity and compassion is commonplace. When we’re finished, I get a good night’s sleep on Nathan’s basement futon. Tan takes the upstairs couch. In the morning we wake early, heading back to Lancaster for a morning of church shopping.

Word-Of-Mouth

Announcement:
Last night I sent word of Straight Into Gay America to a dozen blogs.

Jeremy from www.goodasyou.org wrote back. "As someone who gets sent any and everything under the gay-related sun, I can honestly say this is something I would actually read, write about, and take seriously. "

I've posted my announcement on our website. VIEW IT. Send it to a blog or a friend just by clicking SEND TO A FRIEND at the bottom of the message.

Defeating the Federal Marriage Amendment is rightfully top priority. It's good to see this work. What a sad day for our country if we started using Amendments to discrminate instead of to ensure our rights and inclusion.

Blogs visited yesterday. Many more to come.

www.pamspaulding.com; www.@loveisloveislove.com; www.biggaypicture.com; www.margaretcho.com; www.signorile.com; www.americablog.com; www.afterellen.com

Thanks to blogger friend Chris Savage who did legwork on finding these, "I'm Just Sayin'" is his blog. http://mrchris.efx2.com/ . Thanks for his Straight Into Gay America post last week.

Soulscaper Logo

People have been asking about our Soulscaper logo ever since Anne first created the guy in 2002. He was two-feet high in vinyl, on the side of Harvey the RV as I pedaled through the 50 states. He's on the cover of One Wheel - Many Spokes, and he's still with us for Straight Into Gay America. (See him on our homepage)

Anne's work in feminist spirituality and her love for art inspired dozens and dozens of these characters she calls Soulscapers (landscaping the soul)

Last week as we talked about typesetting for Straight Into Gay America, Anne got inspired to paint another three dozen Soulscapers. Kent took a look and said they'd be a great addition to the layout of the book. Here are two preview paintings.

Thank you, Anne. It's nice to have an artist in the family. If you'd like to see Anne's paintings you can visit her website at www.lakechelanart.com If you like the soulscapers, there's a contact form on the website where you can drop her a note.

"Yours is a story that must be told—it’s difficult to express how your manuscript has provided me with a renewed sense of my own purpose, and that of PFLAG...a truly remarkable and critically important story."

Jody Huckaby (Executive Director for PFLAG) sent the foreword today that will appear in Straight Into Gay America. After I read it, I sat for a long time, soaking it in, knowing that I'd just received a real gift for my soul.

In the polarizations that swirl through the journey toward equal rights, words of encouragement and support are priceless. Isolation creates so much fear and doubt.

I look forward to when I can share Jody Huckaby's foreword with you. It's the last piece of putting Straight Into Gay America -- a strong connection to the broader community. It will serve as a personal strength for me in those times of doubt, and in those times of answering why I choose to be an LGBT ally.

Thanks to everyone who shares encouragement with others. What a gift to hold and to be held in a caring community.